Even though the temple hasn’t done anything, its self-destruct function has activated. It makes no sense. Just when he thought they defeated the demons, an earthquake hit almost simultaneously.

The grand altar cracked and began to split apart, and broken boulders started falling from the ceiling. The ground shook violently, making it hard to stand unless you had superhuman physical abilities.

“Why is the self-destruct function going off?! Where are the Spirit Kings? Were those weak demons just a trap? Were they meant to be defeated on purpose?!” (Lanpeach)

Lanpeach, displaying remarkable balance despite the tremors that could almost make him bite his tongue, screamed in confusion, unable to understand the reason.

“Those demons were only strong because they had cheat abilities. An invincible body combined with instant death attacks. If you keep attacking without worrying about taking damage, eventually even the toughest opponent will get hit.” (Mira)

It was a reasonable explanation. Even in FPS games, cheaters who casually use invincibility codes are generally not skilled. They just act like children, enjoying themselves at the cost of getting banned.

“Aah, guys who are used to cheating usually act like that. So, where are the Spirit Kings who were supposed to save us and solemnly reward me? They usually turn into beautiful girls, right?” (Lanpeach)

They would break free from their chains and transform into dazzling beauties. Maybe a loli with an old-fashioned tone or a sultry, curvaceous woman. Where’s that kind of event?

“Look at yourself, Pla-san… Do you really think something like that could happen to you, like you’re the protagonist of a harem?” (Mira)

Mira-san’s words, filled with genuine pity, stabbed like a sharp knife.

“You are a minor villain after all, Soldier.” (Libra)

(Libra, you didn’t need to add that. I get it!) (Lanpeach)

“To be honest, that Spirit King was more of an idolized concept. It’s like gathering scattered energy from the universe and forming it into a sun. That sun creates heat and affects its surroundings. In this case, it spread spirit energy, continuously creating deranged spirits, which distorted the elemental streams that make up the world.” (Mira)

Mira threw out the final, decisive statement to Lanpeach, whose face twitched at the realization.

“Now that the seal has been broken, the individual known as the Spirit King has turned into gas and returned to the elemental streams that form the world. Congratulations, you’ve now unlocked the second key to restoring the world. So, no rewards from the Spirit Kings.” (Mira) 

(Aah, I see… So, no reward event, huh? I was hoping for some cliché moment where the Spirit King would give me a tasty reward just before being freed, or maybe say ‘I leave the rest to you, great warrior’… Yeah, I get it now. No such event, right? Is it because I’m a minor villain?) (Lanpeach)

He was on the verge of falling on his knees in despair, but the world is cruel towards minor villains. Small bits of sand began to fall from the ceiling, signaling the impending collapse. Looks like the Lanpeach difficulty is also harsh on the rewards.

“Nugugu, fine, let’s get out of here! Whatever that shadow girl is quietly collecting, we’ll split it after we escape!” (Lanpeach)

(I already noticed the shadow girl scurrying around on the altar, gathering something from where the Spirit King used to be, I’ll have you know!) (Lanpeach)

But with no time to chat, Lanpeach dashed off with a perfect athlete’s form, arms and legs pumping.

“Don’t you think it’s heartless to take treasure from little girls? She might cry, you know?” (Mira)

“I’m a minor villain, so I don’t care! Come on, let’s go!” (Lanpeach)

Lanpeach took off in a rush, ignoring Mira’s fake crying. There was nothing left for him in the temple. No treasure gained, but at least he earned some EXP, so that’s fine. It took quite a while to get this far. He definitely didn’t want to end up buried alive.

The ceiling started to crumble with a roar. Even Lanpeach, running at supersonic speed, felt the cold sweat of danger prickling him as his anxiety rose.

“To think we could defeat the temple demons that had absorbed so much of the soldiers’ blood so easily… It seems we’ve won our first gamble. Now, let’s make the demons realize it’s our turn. Fufufu, big profits are guaranteed.” (Mira)

Mira glanced back nostalgically at the altar, her eyes quickly filled with visions of gold coins, and sprinted after Lanpeach.

◇◇

“Goal! T-That was close!!! Guheh!” (Lanpeach)

Lanpeach bursted out of the colony’s teleport portal, slid across the floor, and slammed into the wall like something out of a comedy skit. Truly, Lanpeach is a man who sticks the landing, even for the punchline.

“That was close. We were just about to… Oh, it looks like you dropped the bag of items you collected.” (Mira)

“April Fools’ Day is long past, you know.” (Lanpeach)

Lanpeach glared suspiciously at Mira, who gave a bad robotic performance like a tin toy, and undid the fusion.

“Fuuh, Soldier would’ve been dead without me, right? See, you can’t do anything without me around.” (Libra)

Libra grinned from ear to ear, clearly pleased, and leaned against Lanpeach’s shoulder.

They had gone through a lot, but the dungeon didn’t yield much in the way of rewards. Lanpeach sighed as he lifted Mira up from behind.

“Kya! A stalker has finally made contact! Hands off! No touching!” (Mira)

He ignored her protest, grabbed her by the legs, and flipped her upside down. A cascade of spirit crystals, bows, axes, rings, and armor tumbled out of Mira’s Dimension Pouch, forming a pile.

She could have hidden them. What a good sport she is.

“I’m tired of comedy routines. Let’s call it a day. The demons were weak, but their drop items seem top-notch.” (Lanpeach)

Lanpeach picked up one of the weapons left by the demon. It was the bow that Relage had used. The curse of decay had been lifted, and now it had transformed into a wooden bow overflowing with spirit energy.

“That’s the World Tree Bow. Just holding it will heal you every second.” (Mira)

“I see. Well, then, I’ll generously give it to the heroine who’s good with a bow.” (Lanpeach)

“Kyuu!”

Lanpeach handed it to the rabbit that had appeared at his feet at some point in time, and then picked up the axe.

“This is the Dust Axe, Soldier. It has the power to manipulate earth.” (Libra)

“I see, I see. I’ll give it to the heroine who’s good with axes.” (Lanpeach)

“Kyukyuu!”

Lanpeach generously gave it to a rabbit again, much like a scene where a powerful protagonist hands out legendary items to his harem. 

“Yay! Is this branch tasty-usa?” 

The rabbit began gnawing on the World Tree Bow. Rabbits tend to chew anything they can.

“This axe is heavy. Should I use it as a dumbbell-usa?”

The rabbit was already bored of the axe and tossed it aside. Looks like she found it too heavy.

Lanpeach fell to his knees, sobbing.

“What the hell, man! After all that effort, the weapons are useless! Lanpeach difficulty is horrible! Sure, these kinds of drops happen, but not getting any usable items after a boss fight? Restart, please!” (Lanpeach)

Facing the harsh reality, the minor villain rolled on the ground like a seal, contemplating filing a complaint with the game devs. The frustration was too much to bear, and tonight, he wouldn’t be able to sleep.

“Hmm, leaving aside the bow, you could give the axe to the Onodera family, right? You know, in exchange for the key to the next temple. They’re probably storing it somewhere.” (Libra)

“Eh?”

“Eh?”

Libra’s suggestion while placing a finger on her chin left both Lanpeach and Mira staring at her in shock. Libra faltered at their stares.

“W-What? That axe is strong, right? It’s only natural to exchange it for something valuable, isn’t it?” (Libra)

“Well, that’s true… What do you think, Mira?” (Lanpeach)

“She’s right, but…” (Mira)

The two exchanged glances, thinking the same thing.

“I didn’t think Libra could make a constructive suggestion.” (Lanpeach)

“I thought her intelligence had been converted into breast size.” (Mira)

For once, they were genuinely surprised at Libra’s supportive role, without any jokes.

“Uwaaaan! I can also provide support from the Space Library, you know! Don’t make fun of me too much, or I’ll get mad!” (Libra)

Libra waved her arms in frustration, tears welling up in her eyes, and made them apologize, but then…

“Oh! What’s this?” (Lanpeach)

Spirit energy began flowing from the teleport portal and was absorbed by the Spirit Gauntlets. The event apparently wasn’t over yet.

[Spirit Gauntlets: Possess strength equal to physical power. Additionally, quadruples strength.]

Indeed, the Spirit Gauntlets had powered up by normalizing the elemental streams, doubling their strength from twofold to fourfold. 

Since these gauntlets also convert support magic into additional strength when using support and Divine Fusion, the attack power surpasses a thousand. Haze is formidable, but the Spirit Gauntlets are also reliable weapons.

“It seems like I won’t need to upgrade my equipment for a while. And, rabbits, I didn’t say I’d give you any accessories.” (Lanpeach)

“Got caught-usa. But isn’t this shiny thing pretty-usa yo? Gimme please?”

They looked up with round red eyes glistening, pleading for the jewel resting in their small fluffy paws. It was indeed a beautiful emerald. You could feel strong spirit energy from it, so it made sense why they wanted it so badly.

“Didn’t some black-haired beauty tell you to get that? Should I double your reward of carrots?” (Lanpeach)

“I was promised *cough* 100 carrots-usa! Can I have 200? The culprit is Mira-usa!”

“You’re being too greedy!” (Lanpeach)

“I was also told to bring back this scrap of cloth-usa. Can I have 200 carrots?”

“She also told me she wanted this pebble-usa. Can I have 200 carrots?”

“Uhm, uhm, I just want carrots, please-usa?”

The greedy rabbits gathered around, fabricating requests, bringing scraps of cloth and pebbles they found lying around. There’s no way that’s convincing! That last one was just plain begging!

It seemed the word “carrot” struck a chord with the rabbits. They swarmed one after another, and soon, Lanpeach was buried in fluff.

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