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Chapter 18

—

“It hurts…”

“I am sorry, but please endure.”

After I entered the trench, I told Rodley-kun to keep an eye on the surroundings, and I began to treat Gray-senpai.

The legs and left arm of Senpai are severely injured.

Both of them had arteries broken, so I had no choice but to use a burner on the surface of the flesh to stop the bleeding.

I had to burn the nerves as well, so it will most likely be harder to move due to the aftereffects. But this is the best treatment I can provide when I can’t use healing magic.

“Hey, Touri-chan. Please put the gun in the opening of the sandbag there.” (Gray)

“Like this?” (Touri)

“Right. And then, put one more sandbag on top and…” (Gray)

After I finished the treatment of Gray-senpai, I followed his orders and affixed a gun.

He can’t shoot a gun with both of his hands anymore.

Rodley-kun is in the middle of being a lookout like the rookie he is, taking cover with the sandbags.

And so, I was given the job of affixing the gun towards the direction where the enemies might come.

“Thanks, this works fine. Touri-chan, you just have to hide behind me now.” (Gray)

“I will be counting on you, Senpai.” (Touri)

Gray-senpai looked at my poor quality work of affixing the gun and laughed in satisfaction.

Hmm, I should have gotten used to doing stuff like this beforehand.

Gray-senpai said it works fine, but the shape is tilted most likely because I am clumsy.

“Hey, Gray-senpai, don’t you have one more grenade?” (Rodley)

“I don’t. I wouldn’t give it to you even if I did. We were told to protect the base, and yet, why are you raring to attack?” (Gray)

Rodley-kun was itching to fight even when hiding and waiting for the enemies.

You blew them up to smithereens just a moment ago. Are you still not satisfied?

“Muh, then everyone will be killed by Captain.” (Rodley)

“Why are you burning with killing intent so much, Rodley-kun?” (Touri)

“It is obviously because I hate the enemies, you runt.” (Rodley)

A glare showed up in the eyes of Rodley-kun as he answered this.

Because he hates the enemies, huh.

“Runt, you haven’t had anyone important to you killed by the Sabatians?” (Rodley)

“…If I had to mention one, it would be a comrade in arms.” (Touri)

“That’s enough then as a reason to kill the enemy.” (Rodley)

Reason to kill the enemy.

I haven’t thought about that before. I am a medic, so I don’t really kill someone directly.

But…

“If you don’t have a reason to kill the enemies, you will end up hesitating when things matter and lose your life.” (Rodley)

“Hoh, Rodley, you are talking like you know despite being a rookie.” (Gray)

“I was told this by the captain of my past platoon. Gray-san, those are the words of someone that was above in rank and more of a veteran than you.” (Rodley)

“I see.” (Gray)

A reason to kill must be really important for foot-soldiers who have to take the lives of the enemy.

“He was a senior that was far more reliable than a certain someone that’s covered in blood and wounds.” (Rodley)

“Good grief, you really aren’t cute.” (Gray)

Gray-senpai brushed off the snark of Rodley-kun with a wry smile.

‘When the time comes’. If an enemy were to be in front of me and only I can kill them…would I be able to kill them without hesitating?

“…”

“But that’s not needed for Touri-chan.” (Gray)

“A medic should have killing intent too.” (Rodley)

Sarsa-kun died from an enemy grenade.

It was a really sad event, and I would sometimes have nightmares of the dying face of Sarsa-kun.

I was on the verge of being killed several times. There were even times when they would swing their swords with clear killing intent.

“I…” (Touri)

But I wonder why… I don’t really feel that much hatred towards the enemy soldiers.

I would most often than not feel sad about the deaths of my allies over hating my enemies.

No…there are even times when I would even feel sadness towards seeing a whole lot of enemy soldiers dying.

“I am…not good at that stuff.” (Touri)

“Haah, weakling. Coward.” (Rodley)

I mistakenly thought that I could become an outstanding soldier because of my experience in games…

Looks like I have a strong negative reaction to killing people because of my values in my past life.

No, I am sure I didn’t have a personality suitable for a soldier to begin with.

I thought this and was dejected by this, and Gray-senpai suddenly patted my head.

“Hey, Rodley, do you know what kind of people become medics?” (Gray)

“Hah? I ain’t got a clue.” (Rodley)

“Healing magic apparently doesn’t appear on people unless they have stronger emotions about treasuring others compared to harming others.” (Gray)

‘It is just a theory though’ – Gray-senpai said and laughed.

“Touri-chan most likely isn’t good at hating others because of her personality.” (Gray)

“That’s…” (Touri)

“There’s no need to make someone like that be prepared to kill. Us barbarians just need to protect her.” (Gray)

Not good at hating others.

The words of Gray-senpai somehow clicked in me.

Right. I am not good at hating someone else.

The extremely violent and unreasonable Captain Gaback and 2nd class soldier Naridome who assaulted me in my sleep; I don’t feel hatred even towards those people.

…I do fear them though.

“Keh, basically, a coward.” (Rodley)

“…Right, I am really cowardly.” (Touri)

“Tch!” (Rodley)

I am a scaredy cat. I am plenty aware of this reality after having come to this battlefield.

I am scared of being hurt, so I would try to not get deeply involved with others, and wouldn’t go against Captain Gaback because I am scared of being punched.

“Shut yourself inside the hospital if you are that much of a scaredy cat. Don’t come out to the frontlines.” (Rodley)

“Oi oi, what a thing to say to Touri-chan who is holding down her fear and coming all the way here to do treatments. You are going to be abandoned.” (Gray)

“Ha, dying on the battlefield is what I want. I will die while dragging as many people as possible down with me.” (Rodley)

He surely hates me exactly because I am like that.

I am scared of dying. I can’t say dying is what I want just like him.

But people like Rodley-kun are probably the ones with the aptitude to be foot-soldiers.

“Dying is what you want, huh.” (Gray)

Gray-senpai looked at the foolhardy Rodley-kun with pity, as if he were looking at something charming.

 

“I am back.”

Not long after.

Captain Gaback made a grim face as he returned to the base.

“I have seized the bases around. We just need to wait for the advance of our ally units now.” (Gaback)

“Good work.”

“Also, I was shot on the stomach. Touri, heal it.” (Gaback)

Captain Gaback said this and immediately took off his equipment and the clothes of his upper half.

…A burly body that has countless old gun wounds and slice wounds.

There was a dark red hematoma on the upper right of his abdomen, and there’s blood flowing out consistently.

“…Wait, isn’t that a serious injury?!” (Touri)

“Yeah, hurry and heal it.” (Gaback)

He said he was shot on his stomach and, when I looked, it was the liver.

There’s no doubt the organ has exploded.

How can this person walk with a body like that?

“T-There’s the need for an emergency surgery. I will be doing a technique that I learned through seeing, so please don’t haunt me if I fail and you die.” (Touri)

“Don’t give me all that preamble. Don’t fail.” (Gaback)

This is a big wound that requires a concentrated treatment. Just how reckless was this person?

There’s no time to falter. The captain will die if left be.

After the anesthesia took effect, I tried opening up the stomach of the captain while remembering the steps the senior staff did.

“H-Hiiih…”

“The enemy might come back. Finish in 5 minutes.” (Gaback)

“There’s no way I can!” (Touri)

Blood is coming down like a waterfall.

I hurriedly burned the wound opening and jammed my hand into the stomach of the captain in desperation.

I have not brought medical tools, so I grabbed the bullet that was inside the organ by force after putting on clean gloves.

Also, I burned the blood vessels inside the abdomen that were bleeding intensely.

…I have never been as grateful as today for being small. The size of these hands are helping out in the progress of this operation.

I take out the parts of the liver that might cause necrosis, stitch the parts that could be stitched together, and forcefully stick them together.

For the last part, I had my temporary assistant, Rodley-kun, spread out table salt for bleeding inside his abdomen to clean it.

The anesthesia only worked on the surface, so I think Captain Gaback is feeling pain beyond imagination though…

“Uhm…” (Touri)

“Be quick if you have the time to look at my face.” (Gaback)

The captain is glaring at me as if nothing, without even moving a single brow, despite being done something this gory. So scary.

The face of the captain didn’t change so much that I can’t tell at all the vital signs from the bleeding.

Please show your state on your face at a time like this. I beg of you.

“Fuuh, we have finished the bare minimum treatment. Next is…[Heal].” (Touri)

“Done?” (Gaback)

I healed the shape of the liver that had bursted pretty badly, took out the bullet, and succeeded in stopping the bleeding.

Now all that’s left is praying for the healing magic to work well.

Is it okay for a rookie like me to do such an advanced operation with my bare hands?

I went for speed, so I think there’s a lot of parts I left undone though.

“I think…” (Touri)

“Hmph.” (Gaback)

—— I am not confident about whether it really was okay to stop the bleeding by force with [Heal].

In the first place, isn’t this the first time I have done an operation in the very frontlines?

“It is okay for me to get up, right?” (Gaback)

“No, with how badly injured you are, you definitely have to rest no matter the treatment.” (Touri)

“Hmph, it is true that it feels better. I should be able to go deeper like this.” (Gaback)

“I am telling you to rest though?” (Touri)

Come on, this person is not listening at all.

You still plan on going ahead, Captain?

Gray-senpai can’t move anymore, so let’s be satisfied with this much.

“Captain-dono, moving forward more than this would be difficult considering your state and it would be a foolish move. I propose securing our current bases and finishing the battle.” (Touri)

“Rejected. We can’t let this opportunity escape. This assault is a rare opportunity that hasn’t come in years.” (Gaback)

I proposed to finish the battle here, but the captain didn’t accept.

What’s the reason for wanting to move forward even after doing a surgery on the frontlines?

“Captain-dono, what’s this about an opportunity?” (Touri)

“Hmph, Touri, what do we need to do to settle this war?” (Gaback)

“…I think it is to seize the capital of the enemy.” (Touri)

“That would be impossible. It ain’t realistic.” (Gaback)

Captain Gaback glared at me.

“Touri, what’s at the back of the enemy lines?” (Gaback)

“At the back? The medical facilities of the enemy, supplies, weapon emergency storages, and such, I guess.” (Touri)

“Yeah, we will smash those places today.” (Gaback)

And so, Captain Gaback brought out a small bottle from his breast pocket.

Is it alcohol?

Gaback gulped that down in one go without saying a word.

Drinking alcohol right after a surgery is… This is after your liver was blown up, you know.

“Soldiers are people, too. They can’t fight if they don’t have food and no one to treat them.” (Gaback)

“…”

The field hospital that you think is the safest is the biggest objective of us soldiers in the frontlines.” (Gaback)

The captain finished drinking the alcohol in one go without giving me the chance to stop him, and he threw away the empty bottle.

“You are going to kill mercilessly regardless of whether they are a combatant or not?” (Touri)

“It won’t end if we don’t.” (Gaback)

“Are you saying that opportunity is today?” (Touri)

“The enemy is extremely exhausted from the successive battles these few days. Their defenses are apparently the weakest in these few years.” (Gaback)

“…”

“Who knows when will be our next chance if we can’t get through today. That’s why we will be going as far as we can today.” (Gaback)

Captain Gaback said this and sat on a sandbag.

And then, he looked up at the sky as if praying.

“We have finished seizing the neighboring bases. Now all that’s left is for the allied troops to catch up.” (Gaback)

He muttered this.

 

We just waited after that.

“…I feel the presence of the enemy again. I will check the surroundings.”

“Be careful.”

I ran out of mana, so I am completely useless here.

“Touri-chan, please help me get up.” (Gray)

“Yes, Senpai.” (Touri)

“Thank you.” (Gray)

It would be too dangerous to retreat alone. Even if so, it is pointless to be on guard since I don’t have a weapon.

And so, I ended up being the nurse of Gray-senpai who can’t move his arms and legs.

“Are the allied troops not moving forward yet?” (Touri)

“…Who knows.” (Gray)

Captain Gaback would go to neighboring bases with that injured body, slice down enemies, and return.

And then, he would sit down on the sandbag right in front of Gray-senpai without saying a word.

“An order. Wait for now.” (Gaback)

“Yes.” (Touri)

15 minutes after seizing the base…a call came from the communication device that the captain had.

“…I see. Understood.” (Gaback)

“Uhm, Captain-dono?” (Touri)

Captain Gaback sighed heavily after getting that order and looked up at the sky.

“Retreat. We will be abandoning the current base.” (Gaback)

Looks like the allied troops…failed in breaking through the 3rd defense line.

“Abandon…” (Touri)

“Enemies will raid the current base. Grab your stuff.” (Gaback)

Captain Gaback’s fists were trembling in vexation.

We have to abandon the base that we seized with so much effort.

Just thinking about that is assaulting me with emptiness.

“…Captain Gaback.” (Rodley)

“What, Rodley?” (Gaback)

“What do we do with this person?” (Rodley)

Rodley-kun heard the order of the captain and asked.

By this person, he is referring to the person that has lost his legs and is on the floor…

“Hmph, you know what’s going on, right, Gray?” (Gaback)

“Yes, I do, Captain-dono.” (Gray)

We are talking about Gray-senpai here.

Right, who will be carrying him?

If we go by order, it would be Rodley-kun, but would he be able to run 20 meters as a rookie in terms of stamina?

“He is done for. We will leave him here.” (Gaback)

Captain Gaback glanced at Senpai who lost his legs.

“Don’t let them take our back no matter what while we are retreating. Protect this place with a death wish and die.” (Gaback)

He left Gray-senpai with those words.

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