LS – Chapter 238: That’s why, treat me gently

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“What is it I am missing?”

After finishing eating, I ended up leaking what I suddenly thought when I was alone with Rakura.

Rakura was spilling her alcohol with a dumbfounded look.

“Hah?! That’s such a waste!” (Rakura)

“I don’t remember doing something that merits this degree of disbelief though.”

“No, no, of course I would be in disbelief if Ekdoik-niisan were to suddenly ask me this. What brought this all of a sudden?” (Rakura)

“It is not like it was sudden, but…it is about Blue. It seems like I am always souring her mood. I am listening to the advice of Comrade and taking him as reference in a number of points, but is this because I always say one word too many? I always end up getting her in a bad mood at the end.” (Ekdoik)

“…Aah, right. I do agree that you say one word too many.” (Rakura)

So even Rakura feels that.

I am aware that I don’t have much experience in interacting with others, but I don’t know what exactly I should do.

Comrade told me to get used to it, but I don’t know about continuing to cause trouble for the people involved in the time I am getting used to it.

“I am trying to reduce the amount I speak as much as possible though…” (Ekdoik)

“Speaking of which, you have stopped acting like you did before with me. You would suddenly call me by my full name and would push your sweltering enthusiasm at me…” (Rakura)

“I could tell that you were being pushed back by me after all. It is just that I have no intention of taking that attitude towards Comrade, Blue, and Melia. In the first place, it is because your lazy attitude was oozing out that I was trying to encourage you to work harder.” (Ekdoik)

“Hmm, it is a special treatment that doesn’t make me happy.” (Rakura)

“Could it be that I would be better received if I were to interact with them in that manner?” (Ekdoik)

“The way you are right now is better.” (Rakura)

There’s really no point in using the past as reference, huh.

But I feel like it is thanks to the momentum at that time that I am leading a fulfilling lifestyle now.

“How can I interact with her safely like Comrade…?” (Ekdoik)

“I think Counselor-sama is also pretty questionable though. He is teasing Blue-san very frequently.” (Rakura)

“But he is not smashed to the ground despite that though. I have.” (Ekdoik)

“Hmm, I think this and that are two different matters, but…I honestly don’t want to explain it to you as your sister.” (Rakura)

“Is there an issue for a little sister to explain this?” (Ekdoik)

“It is like me asking for advice from Ekdoik-niisan regarding Counselor-sama. You would be giving me advice from the perspective of a man.” (Rakura)

From the perspective of a man…? There’s also that into account?

Is there a deeper understanding when we are both men?

Thinking about Comrade and Marito, I don’t feel like I would be able to understand them completely.

“If it is about how Comrade interacts with you, it is pretty much him not minding spoiling you a bit, right? He has acknowledged your core as a personal trait of yours, and accepts it within an admissible degree.” (Ekdoik)

“Hmm, even though you can analyze that much… I wonder why…” (Rakura)

“I understand that Blue is seeking resolve from me as the one who will be living by her side. That’s why I am telling her my feelings as they are, but…I am always souring her mood.” (Ekdoik)

Rakura is looking at me with cold eyes.

It is as if she is looking down at me as a rookie who doesn’t understand anything. That’s the kind of atmosphere I feel here.

“Haah…that’s her hiding her shyness.” (Rakura)

“…Hiding her shyness?” (Ekdoik)

“Yes. She is happy about having received a response from Ekdoik-niisan that’s beyond what she wanted, but she is shy about showing it to you, so she is acting as if she is in a bad mood.” (Rakura)

What…? That’s her acting as if her mood was soured…?! Smashing me onto the ground and dragging me around…?!

“But she would actually raise her voice and use force to make the other party submit…” (Ekdoik)

“It is because you are persistently asking for her opinion when she doesn’t want you to notice.” (Rakura)

“So I shouldn’t ask to confirm whether she is happy when she is?” (Ekdoik)

“You wouldn’t like someone to ask you ‘are you feeling mortified?’ when you are feeling mortified, right?” (Rakura)

“…It is the same as that?” (Ekdoik)

In other words, what I said right before being smashed to the ground was something that provoked the emotions of Blue, huh… That’s certainly a way to forcefully end a conversation.

“I am glad to see you are learning.” (Rakura)

“Hm? But there are things that can’t be explained with that. One day when Blue cooked food, I told her this really makes one think and the topic of the Purple Demon Lord came up, but…she smashed me on the ground just by saying the Purple Demon Lord and Blue are at different standings.” (Ekdoik)

“…I think she simply got angry there.” (Rakura)

“R-Really…? It is hard to tell them apart.” (Ekdoik)

In other words, Blue will smash me on the ground when happy and when angry. It probably means that her way of expressing her emotions is narrow.

“…Hm? Does that mean Blue pursues me as a man just like the Purple Demon Lord does for Comrade?” (Ekdoik)

“Eh?!”

“Eh?!”

Rakura was showing a shocked expression I haven’t seen before.

She can make a face like this, huh.

But that really was the case judging from her reaction.

“…You can reach that conclusion, yet you didn’t notice?” (Rakura)

“I do have knowledge of human society. But the actions of Blue were way too separated from that concept…” (Ekdoik)

“You didn’t think it was an extension of hiding her shyness?” (Rakura)

“…Not at all.” (Ekdoik)

Silence came, and Comrade showed up when I was troubled about what to talk about.

He is holding a bottle of alcohol, so he was most likely planning on drinking with Rakura.

“Hm, the air feels heavy.”

“H-Hear this, Counselor-sama! Ekdoik-niisan—” (Rakura)

“Aah, judging from this atmosphere, Ekdoik must have finally noticed that Blue has romantic feelings towards him.”

“Why did you let it be to this degree despite being this perceptive about it?!” (Rakura)

This is obvious, but it seems like Comrade understood everything.

But he ignored Rakura who grabbed him, sat down, and poured the alcoholic beverage into a glass.

“Ekdoik is learning about human society, and has been an adventurer for a time. He should have at least that much knowledge. But it is not like he has experience in love and stuff like that. Why would I go and give a lecture about love to a man in his mid twenties?”

“Uh!” (Rakura)

“Also, I am not really qualified to be lecturing someone about that.”

“…That’s true.” (Rakura)

Rakura sighed and let him go while glaring at him.

Comrade poured alcohol onto my glass as he drank his.

“Ekdoik, there’s no real need to fix your attitude. Even if you understand the words, if you were to act while still not aware of the other party as a romantic partner, it would just turn into something insipid that doesn’t understand the essence. There’s no doubt she would be happy if you were to act the part, but everything will crumble if it is discovered that it is an act.”

Awareness, huh.

There’s no denying that I treasure Blue, but I can’t say for sure that this is what they call love in human society.

Even if I try to make myself think it is so, I most likely wouldn’t be convinced.

“…Emotions are complicated.” (Ekdoik)

“Not really. Just live honestly and follow your sensitivity. On the contrary, worrying about it in this manner will create philosophical factors, and turn the issue into a complicated one. You will seek to define it, question it, and hesitate on acting.”

“So go with the flow?” (Ekdoik)

“Yeah. There will be a lot of people who will tell you to understand the heart of a woman. But between someone who thinks they understand the heart of a woman and someone who doesn’t, the latter one is more popular, you know?”

“Is that how it works?” (Ekdoik)

The depth in the words of Comrade are immeasurable, but I can understand he is telling me to just stay as I am. That it is better to just face it with my real self instead of worrying about it and interacting with her like that.

“Ah, but Ekdoik, there’s no harm in seeing the reactions of the other party and acting accordingly. If they avert their gaze or forcefully end the conversation, it means that there was a change in the feelings of the other party.”

“…I see. I have a lot of instances where that happened. I will try being more conscious of it next time.” (Ekdoik)

“By the way, do you understand the heart of a woman, Counselor-sama?” (Rakura)

“I don’t want to.”

“That’s such a sly response!” (Rakura)

◇◇

I understand that there’s no point venting my anger at Ekdoik just because I can’t be honest with myself.

But I can’t help it.

Even though it is so obvious for the others, he hasn’t noticed at all. Not only that, there’s more and more women around him!

“…Am I not charming?”

I have become so stupid that I am having such a maidenly worry.

I am getting complacent by the fact that Ekdoik has offered his life to me, and I am wishing for the scenario I want on top of that.

I have become an awfully impudent woman despite not doing anything myself.

I let out a heavier sigh than the times when I wished for death, and that man walked this way.

His face is a bit red. It seems like he was drinking.

“Hn, is that Blue?”

“Is there something wrong with me being here?” (Blue)

“It is actually great. Help me out a bit.”

“What is it?” (Blue)

I moved as told and there was Rakura and Ekdoik collapsed there, dead drunk.

Rakura is sleeping comfortably on top of the sofa, but Ekdoik was sprawled on the table while groaning.

“It is as you see. Please help me carry them.”

“Haah… Rakura is one thing, but it is rare for Ekdoik to collapse from drinking. Even though he has self-control on those fronts.” (Blue)

“He was worrying about you after all. I managed to easily make him collapse in the time he was worrying.”

“What are you doing?!” (Blue)

He is ignoring my retort with a laugh.

This guy has really gotten his memories back, right? Maybe he actually didn’t?!

“I do understand his irritation. Just think about how Ekdoik would look like if he were to act as the ideal you seek. I am sure it would feel all types of wrong.”

“…So you interfered with his thinking?” (Blue)

“You don’t want to be seduced by an Ekdoik that has been incited by me, right?”

That’s true, but the way you put it! Can’t you put it in a way that doesn’t annoy me as much?

“Ah, right. You wrote my name in a paper, right?! Don’t mass produce such a dangerous thing!” (Blue)

“Did you get threatened by the past me? That was a bluff.”

“…Really?” (Blue)

“There’s no assurance I am the only Japanese person in this world after all. I can’t just go out of my way to increase the risks of putting my allies in danger.”

In that case, that means I was teased and played by his past self too?! That me child?!

“Argh! Your past self was even less cuter than the present!” (Blue)

“I have gotten softer though. What’s the point of seeking cuteness in a man?”

“Ekdoik is cute! …Forget what I said just now.” (Blue)

I was pulled by the tension of a drunkard and ended up saying something unnecessary.

But well, it is fine since he most likely knows everything regarding my feelings towards Ekdoik anyways.

Yeah, I have to tell myself that or I might end up losing myself and attack him.

“I shall. Please bring Ekdoik to his bed in exchange.”

“Wouldn’t it normally be me carrying Rakura and you Ekdoik?” (Blue)

“She is acting as if she is asleep after all. There’s no need to carry her yet.”

“Geh… Zzzz… Zzz… Zzz…”

The body of Rakura flinched.

T-This girl…!

“Rakura?!” (Blue)

“Hiih! P-Please calm down! I just thought I might hear something amusing! C-Come on, Ekdoik-niisan will wake up!” (Rakura)

“All your actions are worthy of punishment! …If you say anything unnecessary…you better be prepared for the consequences.” (Blue)

“I-It is okay! I am the best keeper of secrets as you can see!” (Rakura)

I can’t trust any of that.

Well, it is fine as long as Ekdoik himself doesn’t hear it… It will be alright, right?

I feel like I will end up slipping even more unnecessary things if I tag along with this drunkard, so let’s get Ekdoik already.

I can’t tell what he is saying, but I wonder what he is saying while dead drunk.

“Haah… You reek of alcohol… You people should also keep it moderate.” (Blue)

“I can show self-control, so it is okay.”

“I am fine too. Ah, Counselor-sama, would it be better for me to call Blue-san as Onee-san <Sister>?” (Rakura)

“Can you please do this when I am gone at least?!” (Blue)

I was on the verge of throwing Ekdoik.

He is not really heavy if I use mana strengthening, but his chains make a lot of noise.

Any weird ideas are dispelled thanks to this though. But is it okay to be happy about this relief?

“Hn… Com…rade…” (Ekdoik)

“This guy even says Comrade Comrade in his sleep-talk…” (Blue)

I know the past of Ekdoik.

I understand that he is dense when it comes to love.

That’s why I am not trying to push my feelings as of present. And yet, I am getting jealous despite that, so I really am a handful.

“…Please…tell me…how to make…Blue smile…” (Ekdoik)

“—You will be able to once we both are a bit more mature.” (Blue)

“…I…see…” (Ekdoik)

I wouldn’t have been jealous of others if he were not present.

I wouldn’t have been stressing about not being able to be honest.

I wouldn’t have carried a noisy drunkard like this.

I wouldn’t be thinking about training how to smile in front of the mirror.

“…Thanks, Ekdoik. My heart is busy every day thanks to you.” (Blue)

“…Com…rade… The matter with…Melia too…” (Ekdoik)

“You seriously…!” (Blue)

I decided to vent this anger by throwing him onto the bed.

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