Chapter 47: ShanFro

Thanks to the patron, HT G!

Chapter 47: Kei couldn’t run away.

——–

“Hm…now then, it was supposed to be a 1 hour break, and yet, I, Uomi, have returned while leaving my cup ramen after around 100 questions flew out in 40 minutes…” 

“First of all, it is still noon. It is not late night hour yet. You all understand that, right?” 

“Ah, so we are rolling? It is technically an endurance stream, so I can’t really accept this at all, but I am prepared for it, so it is okay.” 

“You all staff members better remember this later…” 

*The title ‘Get ready to battle!’ shows up*

“Eh, you are kidding me, right? These people…they are currently making the cards of the messages that came just now with high speed printing…? Huh? It is okay to take them home? You can’t even use them to play card games… Should I use them as weapons?” 

“Counting on the cheering? What exactly do you mean by cheering…? Oh well, first card, draw~.” 

Q1: Bread or rice? 

“Ah, so normal… No, no, this is how it should be! This is the best type of question! Right, in terms of cooking, I prefer rice, but bread doesn’t need stuff like chopsticks, so the one I often eat is bread.” 

“It is lunch after all. This is a good omen. Ah, I will bring this card home. Now then, let’s go for the second one! Draw!!” 

Q2: How many men and women have you gone out with? 

“Ngh… *Deliberating* *Concluded that it is still mostly safe*.” 

“Aah…let’s see…I haven’t exactly gone out with anyone. I have gotten confessions several times, but by my 3rd year of middle school, I was seriously into becoming a pro gamer…” 

“Also, I won’t touch upon the gender part, okay? Nope. 3rd one, draw.” 

Q3: What was the most dangerous joke you happened upon in the land of degenerates? 

“Just to be clear here, I will be washing off any worries in this instance as if I were an immovable rock, okay? I will be mitigating the damage to the utmost extent. The most dangerous joke, huh. Let’s see…” 

“The time when I saw a mysterious writing about being turned into a female ricefish and getting attacked by a black bass, I guess… Oi, don’t laugh at that!!” 

“Okay, next!!” 

Q4: Sylvia-san and Megu-san are charming women, but who do you like the most in a romantic way? 

“Aah…” 

“Isn’t this somewhat bad? Eh? Have you gotten permission for this? Have they gone crazy…?” 

“I haven’t seen them in a romantic way. I am a pro gamer. It is not like I don’t see them as women, but I see them more as strong rivals.” 

“Well…even if I were to tie the knot with any of the two, I would be worried about the cholesterol…” 

“Then, next one. Draw.” 

Q5: What’s the type you like? It doesn’t matter if it is men or women or both-desu wa yo.

“So benevolent.” 

Q6: Please tell us the details of other people who have approached you aside from Potato-san and Cash-san.

“I will be answering this question while misconstruing the intention of it, okay? Please think of this warped truth as reality, okay?” 

“Since the day I won against Sylvia Goldbag, quite a lot of challenging-like things have been sent to me, so you could take that as her approaching me in a broader sense, right? Alright, next!” 

Q7: Be honest. Natsume-chan, Sylvia, and No Face; who is your favorite? 

“Uhm, can you please integrate the similar questions at least? If you have the time to make them into cards, at least put effort in that area!” 

“Also, you are casually adding one more person. That one’s simply a friend.” 

“That’s all.” 

Q8: Your private relationship with Zenitsu has been rumored. What’s the truth?! 

“I was beaten up to a pulp in the infinite mock battle at the visit I gave to thank them. Yeah.”

“There’s no love element you are probably imagining. It was virtual violence.” 

Q9: Kei-kyun, you seem to be loved by a lot of people, both men and women, but have you fallen in love with anyone? (Of course, regardless of gender).

“Ah, this is coming from the land of the degenerates, huh. Now that I think about it, the 1st question is beginning to look suspicious too, but maybe I am being too doubtful here.” 

“Fallen in love with someone… Hmm, is ‘no comment’ an acceptable answer? No?” 

“This is a bit embarrassing, but I have had no experience of such myself… I did get a good amount of chocolates though…”

“Eh? Wrap it up? Eh, okay… Wasn’t there a personal grudge from the staff within that instruction? Oh? Want me to take the high ground?” 

Q10: What’s your relationship with No Name and No Face? 

“They are my friends in my private life. I think I have said it countless times now, but it seriously is like that.” 

“My hobby is games too, so I play other games aside from fighting games, but they are people I have been acquainted with since a few years back.” 

“I am protecting their privacy here as my last shred of conscience, so I would like some gratitude for that.” 

“Alright, next.” 

Q11: Which are your favorite fishes for viewing and eating? 

“Clownfish and puffer fish.” 

Q12: What games are you playing aside from fighting games?

“……”

“Ah, sorry, I was a bit moved by the normal question.” 

“This is weird. Even though it has only been around ten questions…” 

“Right, I do FPS too.” 

“It is private, so I won’t say the specific name, but I also play ShanFro.” 

Q13: Have you fought Amelia? If you have, please tell us your record.

“Amelia… Amelia Sullivan, right? I have fought quite a bit against her in official battles too though… Maybe a different Amelia?” 

“In GH:B I had more losses than wins at the end… That game has cramped fields compared to the chaos, so the other side ends up cornering me.” 

“I don’t know what the result will be now. I have never fought with the intention of losing though.” 

Q14: If you could become a girl for a day, what would you do? 

“I would most likely be gaming.” 

“I don’t think what I would want to do would change just because I am a man or a woman. Next.” 

Q15: No Face x Kei-kyun, or Kei-kyun x No Face? Please tell me! I won’t be able to sleep at night like this!

“Hahaha, turn into an insomniac.” 

Q16: Are there other games you like aside from fighting games?

“Wasn’t this asked before already? FPS.” 

Q17: How many private dates (game) a week have you had with No Face-san?

“It is not like we do so every week. Well, it is kind of like, if we both have the time, I guess.” 

“Or more like, it is more often than not that we would do our own thing without being in voice chat even if we are playing the same game.” 

Q18: When was the first time you were told you were an uke*? <TLN: the one on the receiving end of a shipped pair>

“At the time when I won the national competition, I guess. Now that I think about it, taking a counter strategy which I am not used to might have been the beginning of my mistake…” 

Q19: Tell me about the start of the romance between No Face and No Name!!! In detail if possible!!

“It is not romance or anything like that. It might reveal their identities to a certain degree, so I honestly don’t know if it is okay for me to be saying this kinda stuff though.” 

“Well, the two of them met each other in the game. The first one was Sa—Hnnn! I got matched with No Face in a fighting game, and I got acquainted with No Name from the game we were both playing.” 

Q20: Uomi Kei is said to be an uke across the board, but what do you actually think about it? Do you actually prefer being coupled with women? 

“I am a human being first and foremost. You know that, right?”

“I have already passed the point of acceptance and have just stopped caring about it, but it is not about the same gender love or TS <transsexual> being the issue, but making them into tofu* or R18.” <TLN: tofu is also a word to refer to sexually harassing women>

“Tofu doesn’t appeal to me.” 

Q21: Kei-kyun~ are you a virgin~? Or a DT~? <TLN: DT means doutei which is virgin but for men so the virgin here is referring to the female counterpart.>

“I can go for the ‘no comment’ here, right?! Right?!”

“‘Okay’? NICE!!!!”

“Alright, next… Don’t write Schrodinger’s Cat on your cue card!!!” 

Q22: Is it okay to ask about how you met No Face and No Name?

“Asked and answered.” 

Q23: Do you play ShanFro? If you do, how many uniques do you have? Not zero, right?

“If I say I play ShanFro here, I won’t be able to escape from this one…” 

“ShanFro is incredible, isn’t it? There’s a lot of unique scenarios after all.” 

“Alright, next.” 

Q24: It seems like you have an older sister. What kind of person is she? 

“She is a normal office lady and a housewife.” 

“She would send me messages saying ‘Please give me a photo of Asama-san from Cold Bison’.” 

“Well, you could say she is higher in the hierarchy as per usual with older sisters…” 

Q25: How many times do you crossdress in your daily life? 

“I don’t.” 

“I was made to crossdress once because of a project, but I don’t.” 

“I won’t ever forget how it almost happened in a photoshoot, you hear me, Cyber Battalion?”

Q26: How did you feel when you were beaten to a pulp after winning against Sylvia?

“I was mortified.” 

“I will win next time.” 

Q27: What do you put on when you go to sleep? Perfume?

“I make sure to turn off the light…” 

Q28: What was the trigger for you to begin playing fighting games?

“The trigger might have been a game character that showed in the front cover when I was in elementary school.” 

“It was an illustration of characters doing a cross counter to each other. It has been etched into my heart to the point that I can remember it even now… That was the trigger.” 

Q29: Do you have a perfume you use often? 

“Eh? Why under the assumption I use them in the first place? Perfume was also mentioned before, wasn’t it?” 

“Why……? Ah.” 

“It is whispered in the land of the degenerate that ‘Uomi smells like lemon’. That’s not perfume.” 

“I slipped at the time when I had a meeting in a competition and had Lemon Sour fall onto my head.” 

“The smell of alcohol was stronger than the lemon. End of discussion.” 

Q30: What kind of person is your sister, Kei-kyun?

“Asked and answered.” 

Q31: Please tell me the energy drink you have in store and your recommendations.

“Riot Blood, I guess. They do seem to be the type that are crazy when it comes to energy drinks.” 

“But I am not such a heavy user compared to those pumpkin heads full of energy drinks. Well, if I had to recommend something, it would be Back Draft.” 

Q32: Train, bus, and ferris wheel; which one excites you the most? Ah, sorry, scratch that question just now! …Cosplay, molester, bondage, or double penetration? Which play do you like this most?

“The play where I call the cops on you.” 

Q33: If you were to become an uke, what situation would you prefer the most?

“I don’t have a preference to begin with…” 

“Don’t job change me at your own convenience, seriously.” 

“Being turned into a female ricefish was rough, but being turned into a turritopsis nutricula* to be on the receiving end for eternity is just way too much.” <TLN: Is a small hydrozoan that, once reaching adulthood, can transfer its cells back to childhood. It is called the immortal jellyfish.>

“I am probably the only human on Earth that has been made into a turritopsis nutricula. Any other out there?” 

“Eh, there is?!” 

Q34: How do you feel right now?

“Can I drink some juice? I think my throat is going to parch before my heart breaks.” 

“Also, the cue card telling me ‘the staff enjoyed the cup ramen’ pissed me off a bit.” 

Q35: Is there a pro gamer within the country that you are pushing forward? If there is, please tell me! 

“Pushing forward, huh…” 

“Well, looking at my winning percentage, I won against most people, but…there’s quite a lot of people that I think are dangerous.” 

“There’s quite a good amount of people that would polish one trick thinking their winning percentage might change but don’t notice it themselves. I don’t plan on forcing others to change their style, and I myself hate losing, so I don’t plan on telling them.” 

Q36: You still do the horse riding game? 

“Horse riding… Horse riding?” 

“Ah, Cabaret Crisis? I am, I am.” 

“There’s actually a Cabaret Crisis tournament next month. This will turn into a bit of an ad here, but I will also be participating in it, so look forward to it.” 

Q37: Kei-san, why did you become a pro gamer? Is it because you can become an uke legally?

“I am going to ignore the latter part. Why did I become a pro gamer, huh… To fight strong people.” 

“I do get to fight them in rank matches, but it is just a brief instance, you know.” 

“If you become a pro gamer, you can see familiar faces even in other games too.” 

“Also, I might have gotten a bit addicted to the sense of achievement when I won at the time when I was an amateur gamer… ‘I am the number one!’ kinda feel?” 

Q38: Tell us in detail about the start of your romance with No Face-san! 

“Don’t call it the start of a romance.” 

“Hmm, there was a certain fighting game. No Face was the one who played it first.” 

“And then, I was beaten to a pulp which was the beginning of it all.” 

“I was still beaten to a pulp even after studying passionately, but that connection still remains.” 

Q39: What’s your type of man? 

“The type that doesn’t get hot and bothered by ricefish.” 

Q40: Who would you say is your best friend within Nitro Squad? 

“Hmm…we mostly act as a team the whole time, so there’s instead not a specific someone…” 

“If I had to say, it would be the ones of my same gender, I guess.” 

“Ah, wait, could it be that this was all for the sake of taking this out of context—?!!” 

Q41: What was the start of your romance with No Face? 

“Asked and answered.” 

Q42: Please tell us your opinion regarding the theories of there being a hidden 3rd member aside from No Name and No Face…the phantom, No Gender.

“I am sure the brain of the one who thought of that theory must be a nice flower field. Please introduce them to a good hospital.” 

“Also, I am a man. I won’t be a woman by the time I wake up, or get turned into a ricefish or a turritopsis nutricula.” 

Q43: Do you think you could also be a seme* too? <The one on the giving side.>

“Haah…*scoff from having given up already*.” 

“Well, you can’t win in a fighting game unless you attack, so I can, yes.” <Seme means attack too.>

Q44: Na2meg, Sylvia, and Amelia; who’s your type?

“Type… Eh, skip.” 

“Kuh! …These guys are getting more and more pushy…… Let’s see… I am personally decently happy just by having people of the opposite gender who I can share my hobbies with, so let’s leave it at that…” 

Q45: Kei-san is the type that leads (suggestive) in private? Or the type that gets washed with the flow (suggestive)?

“I don’t know what you are implying here with the ‘suggestive’, but I am not someone that leads in my private life… Alright, next.” 

Q46: In a certain game (chapter 11) there was a person that resembled Kei-san a lot that shouted ‘R18 Tentacle Attack’ on a guy. Was that you? 

“Must be your imagination. You do drugs?” 

Q47: About the female pro gamer that loves potatoes too much. Please tell me if you would be willing to make her your girlfriend or not! 

“I am plainly worried about her on the health front… With our likes being similar, there’s no lack of topics to talk about with her.” 

Q48: If your friend No Face were to get in a romantic relationship with a beautiful girl, how would you react? 

“No Face?” 

“Man…… I can’t imagine that. That guy’s the kind that just establishing communication would make your humanity crumble or scrape it off.” 

“I at the very least can’t imagine him going out with a girl that’s not too acquainted with games. It is not that it would be a catastrophe or something like that. I don’t think it would develop to a point where he would be interested in a romantic way.” 

“However…he is the type that rushes onto things, so if there’s a girl with his same tastes that can keep up with him…maybe…” 

“Ah, No Name is like that, so I think me and No Face would refuse.” 

Q49: Please tell us what character you recommend using as a beginner and the character you use often in Galaxia Hero.

“Let’s see… I say this often, but Mitias and Cursed Prison are not beginner friendly.” 

“Mitias has simple patterns, but the output is wild, so there’s a high chance you would crash onto walls on the city maps when you are unfamiliar with it, and you would fall often if you don’t know how to control the jumps.” 

“It goes without saying for Cursed Prison. You not only have to learn the battle inputs, but also the transformation inputs, so it isn’t beginner friendly.” 

“That’s why, I actually welcome you to GH:C if you want to begin from what character to use, but…” 

“If you are going to be learning the basics, I recommend the characters you can use at the very beginning. Hydro Hands is decently easy to use.” 

“But well, I have heard that it is easier to learn the techniques from the manga character rather than a fighting game character at first, so I think you should use a character that’s not too quirky at the very beginning.” 

Q50: Within the country, your win percent is outstandingly high, but if you were to include the ones outside of it, how many do you think are on the same level as you? 

“Let’s see…” 

“This is vexing, but I am aware that Sylvia Goldbag and Amelia Sullivan would be categorized as being above me currently. That one match was pretty much a lucky punch anyways.” 

“As for the same level…Great Britain, Korea, and Brazil have a really uniformly good roster.” 

“The core strategies change depending on the country, so you can easily lose just from a mistake in how to deal with them.” 

“There’s cases when you lose because of that even within Japan though.” 

“But you really do begin to get a grasp of the opponent’s fighting style, movements, and attack patterns, after many fights, so you can form countermeasures from there…” 

“The people who continue growing are all on the same level…they are powerful enemies.” 

 

“Ah, a break?” 

“Give me 1 hour this time around, okay…? Eh? A second part is being requested? Are you kidding me? We haven’t even finished with half of them!” 

Author: It was interesting that 100 comments came instantly, and there were actually a lot of comments from the deranged which I am thankful for and also found it funny…but after writing this, I was certain of something…

Writing a section late at night to answer 100 questions can down a writer (definitely).